"They are frightened..."

“They are frightened. In me, they see their own daughters, just as ignorant, just as unmindful of all the truths and hopes they brought to American… They see daughters who will bear grandchildren born without any connecting hope passed from generation to generation.”

     The aunties see Jing-mei Yoo as a representation for their daughters and for generations to come. She is like their American-born daughters, who don’t understand their Chinese mothers or their Chinese traditions and values. Jing-mei can understand how her aunties, the older generation, must feel, with their distress that their hopes and dreams that they had and also had for their daughters will not be able to be realized and survive in their American lives. I'm sure that she can understand or at least sympathize with both sides, the daughters and their mothers. However, poor Jing-mei probably realizes that her mother must have had that same fear before she died. She showed that she cared through pushing her, which isn’t exactly the ideal way, but that is the only  way she knew how to try to help her daughter.
    In my eyes, this is the first greater human truth in this book. It expresses how there is almost always a confliction with a mother’s hope and a daughter’s desire. It has happened often with my mother and I. Specifically when she is trying to push her “old age” values on me. I can’t understand them. Times have changed and they just don’t apply to my life. I'm sure that my mother is worried about traditions and values being lost through me and not passed onto my children. I think that is inevitable though. I have gotten what I can from my mother's wisdom, as will my daughter from mine. Though of course she will only take what she feels applies to her and can help her get where she wants to end up in life. 

Greater Human Truth

Find a greater human truth, take a quote from the book and discuss it. 

"I wiped my eyes and looked in the mirror. I was surprised at what I saw. I had on a beautiful red dress, but what I saw was even more valuable. I was strong. I was pure. I had genuine thoughts inside my head that no one could see, that no one could ever take away from me."

Despite the fact that this is one of my favorite quotes so far in the book, I just think that this quote is a 'greater human truth.' Life is literally what we make it. There is no destiny in my opinion. If you want something go out and get it. Who you are and what you value is all that you really have. I yearn for a realization like this. To be able to look in the mirror and see a strong independent woman who knows who she is, looking back at me. You can never predict what is going to happen, you can never change what other people do, but the one thing that you can control is yourself. Being the best you can and staying pressed firm to your beliefs is all you can hope for and everything else will fall into place. 

United In Shared Loss and Hope

The back cover says the women are “united in shared loss and hope.” What are the three similarities all the women share?

Well for starters, they have all had experiences that are rather unusual. They have had to deal with clashes in culture and opinion. The parents of these women keep doing what they think is right for their children and their family, but inevitably, the child will suffer through some kind of deviating event. Usually these events change them or shape them incredibly. This significant change makes then who they are today. Yet, through this process, they do discover their identity and who they are. Lastly, they are all very ethical in my opinion. They seem to have high moral standards and being true and genuine person is very important to them.